A test photo

Fin, the wonder dog

he's back

Yes. Tell a friend. Millhouse is back.

Facebook sucks. Blogs do not. If you are reading this, i hereby assert that you do not suck. a relief, i'm sure.

Nine months have passed. I could have posted in July to reiterate my last post - i failed an exam in april, but fortunately did pass one. I am resitting that in three weeks. Wish me luck.

Precious little else to report. Or at least I say that and no doubt the following stream-of-consciousness will prove otherwise:

- FC United got promoted again. It was very close - finished second by one poitn after being far behind all season. And we won the play-offs. We're now in the Unibond Prem - division 7 if you will

- Manchester United won the champions league and premier league. I watched it in the palace theatre in manchester with plenty of reds (including plenty of FC fans, it transpired). Fine scenes.

- I went to france for 9 days. France was good. I got sunburnt. We drank a restaurant out of 1664 (or 'seize' as those locals call it). Parlez vous.

- I went to reading festival. The toilets were disgusting, but the music was good. I've got my ticket for 2009 already. I liked rage against the machine. they were good. i also liked adam green, vampire weekend and metalli... only joking. Tenacious D were also good.

And that is about it.

After exams, I'm going to buy a boss loopstation. The XL-20 I think. Yes. That will do nicely.

Keep on not sucking.

schmecksams

jan, feb, mar are now going to be completely utter fucking shit and no mistake

yello

hello audience. both of you.

how's tricks? long time, no self indulgent waffle. i guess you noticed.

well, i see i've not posted properly for over half a year. so why post now? well, it's a rare night in with no booze or work or por... er, television in sight, so instead of having a kip, i'm at here listening to some tunes and updating my online persona.

not really much to add. honestly. let me think:

not really travelled much in last half-year. numerous stag dos mainly. daniels do in budapest. bradburys classy affair in newcastle.

and of course rob's in berlin, where i had the honour of being his best man. berlin rocks. i've been there 85 times now (well, three). it's ace. i'd quite like to live there. one day. maybe. of course, stag do's precede weddings and that meant i had to give a speech at rob's which went well, i think. i still mumble far more than i should. i consider this blog to be a digital version of mumbling for the 21st century.

otherwise, just been stuck in front of a fucking computer for the summer - either because some kind people people me to do so, or because i've been doing sad things like this. and facebook. curse that fetid social networking/data mining exercise. it takes up far too much of my time, it really does.

i did exams. i don't like exams. they are rubbish, but i did do some. i am awaiting some results next thurs. for the first time ever, this is the first ever possible chance that i could possibly just maybe qualify and thus get rid of the need to do exams for ever. i hate them with every fibre of my being, every sinew of my writing hand and every synapse of my brain. but i am nearly there. six years in, so not unaverage, just frustrating. we shall see.

2007's been weird, hardly been to any gigs. i really can't remember what the last one i went to was. had a minor flurry in may if memory serves, where i saw willy mason, ben kweller, pipettes, er, that's all i can remember. i'm sure someone will read this now and think "you were at ... with me, you uncaring 'friend', screw you".

ah, that would be smaje now i think about it - went to see maximo park in april, supported by art brut, who i liked.

as well as not going to many gigs (though i do have a ticket for reading 2008 already!!), i'm just out of touch with the "kids" anyway. hardly bought anything that was released in 2007. shocking. all the artists i enthuse about now are either cryogenically frozen (leonard cohen), dead (RIP FZ), or taking time out between tours to be racist (morrissey, alledgedly - only kidding moz, i know you didn't mean it really). finally completed the full complement of moz and Leonard cohen studio albums this year. only about forty more zappa records to go.

otherwise this year, finally started my much hoped for Half Man Half Biscuit collection. THey are ace. GOt the new saturday looks good to me albums and eps, i hope they tour the UK, i love them. I really do, it is almost love, i swear. the rentals have also reformed and touring the US, hope to see them here next year. please sir.

speaking of music, played my first ever 'gig' last weekend. luntstock. see luntstock.blogspot.com for more details, but basically: it was lunts 30th birthday, held in a hotel in his hometownship of flint/bagillt (north wales, wassup), me him mcevoy and lunt's talented drumming bro wowed the loyal fans (all thirty of them, liggers to the core i swear) in the latest incarnation of FWA (for the polite, Financiers with Attitude is the Backronym - what a word - for the rude, check out the series of Peep Show where Johnson makes his first appearance. SAfe to say, this band will steer clear of tangerines). it was ace. that blog will have videos and such like. you have been warned.

and on that bombshell. i'm off. tara

chortle

Fine scenes

Test

Fine scenes.a new phone which has the supposed capability to post photos direct to my blog.. .has it worked?

"done a lunt"

disaster for millhouse...

walked to tesco from the tram stop earlier in the pissiest of pissing down rain. my phone was in my pocket. when i got there, it stopped working and hasn't started since.

my phone is covered by insurance though, but apparently i'm too late tonight to speak to the insurance people so i'll have to ring tomorrow.

either way this could work out quite nicely... i may end up with a replacement phone, whilst my contract also ends next month so i could be entitled to an upgrade.

so if anyone is trying to send me a message and i'm not replying (because i am that popular after all), that is why.

banter

mm

post number 50

and i can't be bothered doing a proper one, so have this boring joke. a proper post to follow sometime soon this summer




Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that, despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex 3 times a night.

Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.

After the show, Cilla said, "Sean, if I'm not bein' too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer, let's go back to my 'ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun."

so they went back to her place. After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together.

Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my bawls in your left hand and ma wullie in your right hand".

Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says "Okay".

he sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before.

Then Sean says, "Cilla, that was wonderful. But if You let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll haveto...... >>>"I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun".

Cilla complies with the routine. Again, the results are absolutely mind blowing.

Once it's all over, they have a drink. Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks "Sean, tell me, this 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer Willie in the other does it really stimulate yer that much?"

Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla but the last time I shlept with a scouser, she stole ma wallet!

wknd

i did do some housetidying this weekend. you wouldn't think so. most of it consisted of shredding things with my paper shredder. that was good and i did do a maniacal laugh like this "ha ha ha bwhahahah" when shredding stuff. i also did some hoovering, but only in the middle of the room by the looks of things. my new hoover is good. i had to empty it 15 times. that shows how much of a lazy get i usually am.

i watched united pick up the premiership trophy against west ham on tv. the match was poor but the presentation was good, albeit a bit showbiz. touching to see giggs and neville lift it together, two true united legends in an age where legend is often overused. i was ruminating that i'd not seen united play for two years when that twit tyler chimes in "and there they are in front of a barclays banner - and given the new owners at united, you could call it a star spangled banner" and it brought me back down to earth. i'm still a united fan, but not a glazer fan. fuck off glazer. we won this despite of you, not because of you.

and on the other half of the broad MUFCUM church, clips have finally surfaced of our cup win last thursday. i watched it twice on the wonderful channel M this weekend. For those interested, the highlights and such like can be seen at www.fcum.tv, or i'll just put the goals here for you. scroll into to about 3.10 mins for a wonder goal by Josh Howard. Granted, its not against the world class defenders the likes of Maradona, Messi and Giggs have had to face in their time, but they weren't playing on sandpits at the time either:

deliberately sabotaged my embedding 'cos it kept loading automatically...



in other news, i recorded this. just me and my guitar and a medley of fingerpicked renditions of FCUM songs - the originating songs being:

- This Land is Your Land - orig. Woody Guthrie, also covered by Billy Bragg
- Sloop John B - Beach Boys
- Dirty Old Town - Pogues
- This is How It Feels - Inspiral Carpets
- Under The Boardwalk - The Drifters
- and more this land is your land.